TESTED

I have recently declared my love for the animal kingdom and reverence for all forms of life. Yes, I have been welcoming all, leaving out peanuts for the squirrels and waving hello to the pheasants along the road, a regular Grizzly Adams.  Now, I believe I am being tested.  A few weeks back I was driving to town and was going to eat a granola bar on the way, but deciding to save myself for dinner I threw it in the glove compartment thinking it would be nice to have on hand for a long drive.  A week later I am driving to Alexandria to visit my cousin and think it would be nice to have that granola bar.  I take it out and, thats funny, it has been opened and seems smaller.  I think, oh it must have been opened when I put it in there and the freezing temps have shrunk it, I'm new to this weather, what do I know?   I still go to eat it, but it looks strange and toss it back in the glove compartment, thinking I will throw it out later.  So, time passes and arriving home from town the other day I remember the bar and that I should throw it out.  What do I find?  The damn thing is gone, the package is all torn apart, and the nasty evidence of the culprit, its remnants are littered about the glove compartment.  

Is a tiny mouse hobo squatting in my car?  Does a little magician critter  sneak into my car at night and find his way into the closed glove compartment? Does this rodent Houdini live under the hood and somehow survive while I drive?   What the heck is going on here?   My initial reaction is one of violation and want to rid myself of this problem with extreme prejudice. After all, who wants their car to be notorious for a rodent infestation (I actually heavily debated whether to announce this to anybody).  I'm thinking a little rat poison in the glove compartment or a trap set on the floor would do just fine, but I am almost immediately struck by my hypocrisy.  It is one thing to love love love all life when it stays in its place but as soon as it infringes upon my space I'm all ready to go guns a blazin' in hot pursuit.   I calm down and let go of the anger for the infraction.  I just need to clean my car of all edibles, which is a good thing anyways and scour it for a little mouse home.  If there is no more food he will move along or stop visiting.  I have done so and assure you that your ankles are safe when riding in my pitiable hatchback.  What have I learned from this? Well that the Kia attracts stories like high dollar call girls allure high powered politicians, but more so that it is going to be a true test to live the life of which I have been writing. 

As my stay here draws close to its end (a matter of weeks now), I am wondering if I will be able to hold on to the introspectively accrued virtues and lessons when I launch back into the currents of society's seas?  Will I  be able to embody that which I have been writing and dreaming?  To treat all with respect and yet stand strong in my pursuits and aspirations.  To stay focused and yet allow the good things in life, the surprises, enter in as well. Can I keep my balance and equilibrium amongst the unexpected riptides and unseeable undertows?

I have mentioned it before, rising up after the fall, but stress it again, knowing there will be bumps in the road that will pitch me over.  This determination but also flexibility I believe will be important.  I have been operating in a controlled setting, everything is set up the way I left it everyday and nothing intrudes upon my schedule, an ideal environment to create.  I will now need to to adjust and adapt as there is bound to be a refrigerator in your lane on the freeway every now and then, what? that doesn't happen in places besides Los Angeles? Well, in LA it does, take note.  

However, the most important virtue to maintain in this relaunch I believe will be compassion.  I have been thinking about that quite a bit during my meditative seclusion, facing my past transgressions head on and forgiving myself in order to let them go.  A dear and beautifully contemplative friend of mine recently mused over the same subject of compassion and got me thinking of it again today.  Compassion towards others can carry us respectfully through all difficult human interactions, a truth to hold high as a lamp to illuminate, but perhaps even more important is finding compassion for ourselves, without which, we can never move forward.  So, it is not only getting back up after the fall but allowing ourselves the fall.  

My grand plans will need modifying, my words will need editing, my car will need sanitizing, but through it all I will aim  to be accepting and forgiving over everything else.  I bring forth the wisdom of the Tao to support the importance of compassion discussed by myself and my friend. 

Tao 67

I have just three things to teach;

simplicity, patience, compassion.

These three are your greatest treasures.

Simple in actions and in thoughts,

you return to the source of being.

Patient with both friends and enemies,

you accord with the way things are.

Compassionate toward yourself,

you reconcile all beings in the world. 

Also, thank you to all for the support and kind words for my Grandfather. He is out of the hospital and slowly recuperating in a rehab center. Day by day we hope to see him regain his strength and know your concern, thoughts, and prayers help him to do so.